re: Ian Crawford's experience.

Similar things happen to most regular Walkabout Close-Uppers.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve approached a group and been "advised" by the self-appointed group leader that "WE" aren’t interested. Sometimes the Mouth gets shouted down and things are fine. But all too often the Mouth rules the roost and all others remain mute. Reluctantly mute, it seems to me.

Fair enough, no skin off my nose. I’m being paid come what may and one less group allows more time to spend with folk who are interested. My unchanging view is that if you go to a party, you join in. If you want to be a miserable sod, stay at home and do it on your own time. If you happen to be the CEO, then it’s time to take stock and get yourself on a refresher course.

That said, in my experience it’s never been the CEO. Mostly they’re up for anything. Keen to be seen to be able to get down with the kids/staff.

Meanwhile back with Mouth. Without fail sometime soon one of "his" group would catch my attention or actively seek me out and ask how soon would I be visiting them. Or why was I ignoring them.

Laughing inside I always ever-so-politely reminded the person that I wasn’t ignoring them, that I had been to their table ad and had been told in no uncertain terms by the Mouth-In-Charge that no one was interested. If in fact they were interested, I was at their disposal.

They were always interested. Sometimes Mouth would offer a hollow laugh and say he (sometimes she) was only joking. Mostly they would leave the group whilst I was there or shrink inwards, stare at their glass and sulk. I ignored them and allowed the general enjoyment (mine and the rest of the group’s) to raise the irritation factor up to level eleven. Or even more with any luck.

Sometimes they melted and the enjoyment level moved up to where it should have been all along.

Mostly they didn’t, at least not outwardly. They’d taken a position and wouldn’t budge. They were seriously chafed that they had been "overruled" by their friends, relatives, contemporaries, whatever. They preferred to let their mardy arsed ego ruin their "fun". Yippee.　

I learned all I’m interested in learning from negative responses long long ago. The people with the negativity own that negativity. I don’t need it and I’m not going to have it. The world is full of shoegazers, well let them gaze away.  

And there are are more than plenty of "Blimey-Cripes-Yikes-How-The-Flippinek-Did-You-Do-That-It-Was-Great!! people around to compensate for the infernal ingrates.

Meanwhile back with Ken. Great stuff. Being upset is not the same as being a fully paid-up professional misery and deserves attention.